These feelings might be new to you in this relationship. In the early stages of a relationship with a narcissist, you might find yourself pulled into their orbit and even idolizing them. Abusive patterns of behavior might only appear later. [2] X Expert Source Jay Reid, LPCCLicensed Professional Clinical Counselor Expert Interview. 7 August 2020.
“I’ve heard what you have to say. Now, I believe it’s my turn to talk. ” “Please give me a chance to speak. ” “I’d like to have a conversation with you, and for that I need to speak. ”
“I understand what you’re saying, but I disagree with your assessment of me. ” “I think we have different views of this situation, but that’s okay. ” “I’m sure that if we revisited this conversation in a few minutes we’d come to a better understanding. ” It’s okay to decide to leave the room if a narcissist is verbally attacking you, and if they’re physically threatening you, please leave as quickly and safely as you can.
“I understand that it may not be your intention to hurt me, but when you threaten to ruin the party, you’re doing just that. We can work through what’s bothering you when we’re alone. ” “I know that you love your grandkids, but threatening me in order to spend more time with them will not work. I need you to respect my right as a parent to organize their schedule. ” “I know that you care about me, but angrily threatening to leave me every time we disagree hurts our relationship. We need to find better ways to resolve conflicts. ”
For example, if you see the narcissist once a week, you might want to reduce how often you see each other to once every other week, or even once a month. Consider reducing how often you text or call each other as well. Being in constant contact with the narcissist can make you feel far more emotionally invested in them than you would be otherwise. Try to let go of any need you might have for the narcissist’s approval. If the narcissist calls you out on your attempts to emotionally distance yourself, just let them know you have other things going on in your life.
Narcissists are incapable of empathy, so keep your expectations low for your relationship with one. This might mean expecting them to pick fights with you for no reason, to not be there for you when you need them, or to burden you with work that you should be sharing. It’s really hard to admit that a relationship isn’t fulfilling, but it’s important. Remember that a relationship with a narcissist will never be able to meet your needs because this relationship is entirely about the desires of the narcissist.
Taking yourself out to the movies or a restaurant without the narcissist Meditating for 15-30 minutes a day Picking up a creative hobby like making art, creating music, or writing for pleasure
Try sending them a message saying something like, “I’ve decided that it’s in both of our best interests to end our relationship. ” It may be more difficult to disentangle yourself from a narcissist who is your parent, for example, rather than your friend. If it isn’t possible to immediately end your relationship with the narcissist, slowly reduce contact with them until you’re able to live separate lives. If the narcissist continues to contact you after you’ve told them you no longer want to be in touch, you may be able to file for a restraining order. Documenting any threats made by the narcissist, whether as screenshots of texts and e-mails or even a written log of what they said, can make the process in court much easier.
A therapist can help you identify patterns of relationships with narcissists and move past them. For example, if you were raised by a narcissist parent, you may find yourself drawn to a narcissistic romantic partner, since this narcissism is tied up with your conception of love. [12] X Expert Source Adam Dorsay, PsyDLicensed Psychologist & TEDx Speaker Expert Interview. 11 April 2019.
