“Oh no, the most handsome boy/beautiful girl in my life got lost in the sauce!” “If this is you drunk texting to flirt, let me tell you… I’m so in. ” “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and landed in a giant pool of vodka?” Just keep in mind that if they’re hitting you up for a late-night booty call and you flirt with them now, they may cross a line you don’t want them to cross. If you want to take things slow, this may not be the move.
“What are you up to right now? You trying to turn up?” “Who are you with right now? My friends are I are trying to hang. ” “You home? If you’re pouring it up I’d love to come join. ” Don’t suggest this if they mention they’re home and you don’t want to hook up with them. It’s going to send a mixed signal. If you do want to hook up, go for it, though!
“Is there a reason you’re texting me specifically tonight 😃” “Your drunk texts are really cute. Is there something you’d like to tell me?” “Hmmmm. Drunk text? Late at night? Why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind 😊”
“You seem like you’re having fun. Is there something you want to tell me there, bud?” “Uh oh, it looks like you overdid it on the beer tonight. This is going to be fun 😊” “I cannot wait to see how you bounce back from this in the morning. ” “On a scale from ‘very’ to ‘quite a bit,’ how drunk you right now? 😂”
If they text you something like “Whattt are u upv to?” you might say, “Not sure yet, what’s up?” or, “Not a whole lot. You?” If they’re texting you something like, “Omg I’m at t he bar adn ther’es someone here u kno,” you could reply, “Oh yeah, who?” or, “Who is it? How did I come up?” This is sort of an exploratory way of figuring out why they’re texting you, but it also kind of lets them off the hook a bit in the morning. If you don’t want to make a big deal out of this, just text them like you normally would and ignore the silly drunk stuff.
You can also reply with a simple, “Huh?” or “What?” if you prefer. You can also just send a gif of someone raising their eyebrows and looking confused. A single 😒, 🙄, or 🤔 emoji can also do the trick. If their follow-up text is more nonsense, you might as well just not reply and wait for the classic, “Oh man, I don’t even remember texting you, I’m so sorry” text in the morning. If their follow-up does make sense, you can reply using another option here if you do want to keep talking to them. Just remember, they’re probably pretty deep in the bottle.
“Hey, are you okay? You’re texting me some really weird stuff. ” “Sorry, I’m a little busy and can’t text right now. What’s going on?” “Hey there drunkie! I don’t feel like texting right now, but I’m down to chat. ”
“Oh, a drunk text! That’s fun. I wouldn’t try to make your move here, though. ” “Ugh. Another late-night drunk text. How original. ” “I’d ask you what you’re up to right now, but I don’t think you could pronounce it. ” “It’s nice that you were thinking of me, but I wasn’t thinking of a drunk 2 am text…”
“I enjoy talking to you, but not like this. Why don’t you text me in the morning?” “I’m sure you’re having a good time, but I’m going to bed. ” “I’m sure you think this is a good idea, but I assure you, it is not. ” “I’d much rather chat when you’re sober. Text me tomorrow. ”
“I don’t appreciate what you’re doing right now. Stop texting me. ” “You’re going to regret this in the morning. You’re better than this. Please stop. ” “I appreciate that you’re interested in me, but I need you to stop talking to me this way. ” You can always block their number if they don’t stop. Do not put up with someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries.
When they do text you the next day, you can choose how you want to respond. If they kind of irked you, tell them they hurt your feelings. If you thought it was funny, poke fun at them.
