It can help to say to yourself out loud, “I’m not alone in this,” or “It’s ok to be sad. ” Affirming your own feelings in this way can help you move on from them.

Look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I’m not a bad person. ” Believe it! Just remember: it takes two to have an affair. It’s not fair for you to have to carry all the guilt yourself.

Engaging in physical activity is a great way to distract yourself from negative thoughts. Exercise is a great example of this! Spending time with friends and family is another way to get your mind off things for a while. Self-care is a good way to help yourself calm down during this tough time. [3] X Expert Source Vernita Marsh, PhDLicensed Clinical Psychologist, Consultant, & Speaker Expert Interview. 7 April 2022.

Try regularly chatting with people you trust. You don’t have to disclose details if you feel it’s unsafe. Just tell them you’re going through a tough time and ask for their support.

Are they a good listener? Make sure this person is someone who has shown you attention in the past. Eye contact and “supportive sounds” (wow, tsk, sigh, etc. ) are signs of this. Are they supportive? Avoid talking to someone who might want to play devil’s advocate. Pick someone who you know will be on your side as you tell your story. Are they empathetic? Choose a friend who usually “gets” things from your point of view and verbally affirms that they understand how you feel. Are they likely to make things about themselves? Don’t talk to someone who will inevitably make the conversation about themselves. Are they loyal? Make sure this person is someone who can keep a secret, in case you don’t want certain information being spread around.

If you need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on, consider reaching out to friends of yours who aren’t involved with your partner. Avoid reaching out to the other person your partner is involved with. If they reach out to you, that’s a different story. Whether you respond is up to you.

How has my relationship with my partner been growing? Does my partner care about making me happy in the long run? Will my partner ever leave the other person they’re with to be with me? If my partner is willing to lie to the other person they’re with, could they lie to me? Can I realistically have a loyal and loving long-term relationship with my partner?

Try making a list of things you want out of a long-term relationship, like moving to a new city or raising kids together. Will your partner do these things with you?

If you decide to end things, you don’t have to think about this relationship as a purely negative experience later in life. There were probably a lot of great things that came from it!

Just remember that no matter how you go about it, these thoughts and feelings will pass and you can move on from them.