Self-care can include making time for relaxing activities every day, spending time with friends, and getting into a regular routine for a sense of stability. Even if you want your ex back, the no contact rule recommends you wait at least 30 days before texting her. That way, you’ll have enough time to work out your feelings and get in a better headspace before talking.
Be totally honest with yourself when you think about the relationship. Why did it end? How did your choices affect that? Ask yourself how you may have added to problems in the relationship. Is there a way for you to be more constructive in the future? You’re worthy of love and capable of finding it again, but that understanding has to come from inside yourself, not from her.
Channel your energy into exercise, like running, swimming, or a workout. Exercise will help you calm down because it causes your body to release chemical endorphins, which make you feel happier. [4] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Make sure you take care of a few basic human needs. You’ll feel better after you have a shower, splash water on your face, or take a nap. Keep a journal or write about your feelings somehow. Studies have shown that creative writing is an excellent coping strategy and a great way to reduce anger in the long term. [5] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
If you’re more self-aware and ready to address past issues as a team, go for it! But if one (or both) of you is not, then this relationship is best left in the past.
Make a point to hang out with friends and family to combat the loneliness. You don’t need to start dating again before you’re ready. A good support system is always important when you’re still healing from a breakup. Make time to talk to someone (or a couple of people) you trust about how you’re feeling. If you keep texting her, you could seem like you’re “submarining,” or popping in and out of her life.
Try not to over-analyze or second-guess your decision not to text your ex, as it can stop you from moving on. You don’t deserve to settle for a relationship that probably wasn’t right for you!
Backburner relationships with your ex are more threatening to your primary relationship because you have a history there, and it’s easy to second-guess your choices. It’s perfectly acceptable to be friends with your ex, but keeping things platonic can be a struggle for some, so make sure you’ve fully moved on before you try friendship.
You won’t be so tempted to text if you block her number on your phone—or even delete it if you’re feeling brave. [10] X Research source
Even if you send one text in a moment of weakness, resist the urge to double-text or call her to follow up. Double-texting can easily overwhelm a person, so it’s better to sit back and let her respond if she wants to.
To pique her interest a more, try posting on social media accounts you know she’ll see. Show off any fun adventures or personal accomplishments you have, and you might catch her eye. If she’s liking and/or interacting with social media posts in some way, you’ll know she’s still keeping tabs on you.
