If you aren’t sure whether your boyfriend is in the mood to talk, try asking something like, “Hey, are you free to chat?”
Try taking a few deep breaths in and letting them out slowly to calm yourself down.
Plus, talking about one problem at a time is less confusing.
You might say something like, “I know how hard you’ve been working at your job, and I understand how tired you must be at the end of the day. ” Or, “I love how often you want to chat with me. I love getting your good morning texts. ”
For instance, you could say, “I really value a clean home, and when you leave your dirty laundry on the floor, it makes me feel a little anxious. ” Or, “Texting all day is fun, but I need my alone time sometimes. ”
Instead of saying, “You never do any chores,” try, “I’m dedicating a lot of my time to doing housework, and I feel overwhelmed. ” Instead of saying, “You never tell me where you’re going,” try, “When you leave all night without updating me on where you are, I feel anxious. ”
Instead of saying, “You always talk over me,” try, “Sometimes I feel like I can’t get a word in edgewise. ” Instead of saying, “You’re never there for me when I need you,” try, “I feel like I need more emotional support in our relationship. ”
For instance, instead of, “You never want to talk about our problems,” you could say, “I know it’s tough to talk about relationship issues like this. ”
Ask questions like, “Can you explain that?” or, “Would you mind elaborating?”
If you’re worried about spending too much money, maybe you and your boyfriend could sit down and create a budget together. If you feel like you always text your boyfriend first, perhaps you and your boyfriend could take turns reaching out to each other throughout the week.
For instance, if you want to clean the house together every day but he prefers doing it once a week, maybe you two can clean together every other day. If your boyfriend wants to go out with friends and turn his phone off but you’d like to stay in contact with him, maybe he could send a quick text at least once letting you know when he’s coming home.
