Not all questions are created equal, however. Try to avoid questions that can be answered with “yes” or “no” or another single word. Compare these examples: “Looks like you’re quite the baker. Do you make cupcakes?” (They can just reply “yes” or “no” here. ) “Impressive baking skills! What’s your secret for making those giant cinnamon rolls?” (They’re more likely to give a descriptive answer here. )
If your profile shows that you’re really into sports, you might try something like this: “Can you believe how the game ended last night? Would you have called that hit a penalty?” However, if you’re not really that into sports, don’t try to pretend you are because you think that will get a better response. Remember to be yourself!
For instance, their profile might show that they’re really into scuba diving. You might find that fascinating even if you’ve never tried it—if so, let them know: “Awesome scuba pics. Never tried it but would love to. How’d you get started?”
For example: “I noticed you collect classic vinyl too. I like searching flea markets for records. You?” Or: “We Detroit Lions fans gotta stick together. What’s your favorite Thanksgiving game memory?”
A pun based on their name: “Anna-body interested in chatting about kayaking?” A humorous observation: “Your cat looks super chill. Mine is bonkers 24-7. Does yours offer lessons?” An intentionally-ruined joke: “Knock-knock. I’m here. Realizing this was a terrible way to start a conversation. ”
Using words like “sorry,” “probably,” “kinda,” “apologize,” and “awkward” actually increases your odds of getting a reply, according to OkCupid’s research—especially if you’re a guy. [5] X Research source Adding a light-hearted touch to your message can really raise the other person’s comfort level. [6] X Expert Source Julianne CantarellaDating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.
If you want to comment on how great they look in a profile photo, try something like this: “What an awesome profile pic with that fun blue dress. What beach was that?”
For example, be honest that you’re not a Monday person, but put a little positive spin on it—instead of starting your comment with “I hate Mondays,” try “I love when Monday’s over with. ” Or, try to be flirty, funny, and self-effacing all at once: “Fancy meeting you here. . . or there. . . yikes I’m bad at this. ” Here’s how OKCupid sums up the ideal strategy: “Date like you do in real life. ”[10] X Research source
Add the person’s name or something else unique to the greeting to help it stand out: “What’s up, Wayne from Westwood?” or “Howdy, Hannah. ” One- or two-word greetings, especially when they aren’t specifically relevant to the other person, indicate to them that you’re not really interested in making a genuine effort at connecting. [12] X Expert Source Julianne CantarellaDating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.
Add the person’s name or something else unique to the greeting to help it stand out: “What’s up, Wayne from Westwood?” or “Howdy, Hannah. ” One- or two-word greetings, especially when they aren’t specifically relevant to the other person, indicate to them that you’re not really interested in making a genuine effort at connecting. [12] X Expert Source Julianne CantarellaDating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.
“wat up luv ur lax pic hit me up k” “Awesome lacrosse pic. Do you ever go to the pickup games at West Park?”
“Cool mountain bike. I have one too. What’s your favorite trail to ride?” (good length) “Hey, I like mountain biking too. ” (too short) “That’s a killer Yeti cycle in your pic. I have a Trek but am thinking of trying something new. What do you think is the best mountain bike?” (too long)
