“I know that going to the party without you really hurt you. That was a poor judgement call on my part. ” “Texting my ex was stupid of me, and I wasn’t considering your feelings when I did that. ”
You could say something like, “I’m really sorry that I hurt you. That wasn’t my intention at all. ” Or, “I want to apologize for how I acted yesterday. You didn’t deserve that, and I’m sorry. ”
When people are deeply hurt, they often want to rehash what happened a few times. This can be tough to hear (and you might feel like he’s just pouring salt in the wound), but what he’s doing is processing his emotions out loud.
Try to put yourself in his position. Showing him empathy will let him know that you really understand what you did was wrong. [5] X Research source Say something like, “I totally understand why you’re angry. What I did was wrong, and I’d be mad if I were you. ”
Say something like, “I really want to make this right. Can we brainstorm a few ideas on how I could do that?” If your boyfriend doesn’t have an answer right away, be patient with him. He might need to work through his emotions before he can decide what he’d like you to do next.
In general, men need more alone time to process their emotions than women do. It’s not necessarily a bad thing or something you need to worry about, it just means that your boyfriend needs to clear his head.
If you need to build trust again with your boyfriend, you can be brutally honest with him all the time, even about little things. Being 100% honest about your day-to-day life can help repair and restore the trust between you two. If your boyfriend feels insecure, try to give him a lot of attention. Make time to take him out on dates and plan fun trips, just the two of you.
For instance, if you texted your ex, you could block their number or delete their contact info. [10] X Research source If you cheated on your boyfriend, you might go to therapy to discover the underlying reason why you felt the need to do that.
If you live with your boyfriend, giving him some space while he works through his emotions is a good idea. Consider staying with a friend or family members for a few days so you can both have some alone time.
People often have a hard time forgiving really large grievances, like cheating or lying. It can be super hard to accept a decision to end the relationship, especially if you still love your boyfriend. Consider asking him if he’d like to separate for a bit and then reconvene in a few weeks to see how you both feel.
Having a third-party, unbiased opinion about your relationship can be super helpful. Sometimes, it’s hard to look at our own problems objectively.
