For instance, maybe you’ll give your partner a month to start opening up to you before calling it quits. Or, you could give them 2 weeks to make changes after you’ve talked to them about your needs.

It can be really hard to control your emotions during such a difficult conversation. If you need to, take some deep breaths and count to 10 to stay calm before you talk. Talk in a calm, open, and gentle manner. [4] X Research source Use I statements and avoid using the word you too much. [5] X Research source If you are critical, blame your partner, or do not take responsibility, you may trigger defensiveness in your partner. [6] X Research source

“We’ve tried so hard to match our communication styles, and it just isn’t working. I need a partner who will talk through issues with me instead of avoiding them. ” “My emotional needs just aren’t being met. We’ve both tried to compromise with each other, and I think we’re both still unhappy. ”

“It seems like we want different things in life, and neither of us are willing to compromise about them. ” “You need a partner who is independent, and I need someone who is more emotionally invested in me. I think that at our cores, we just aren’t compatible. ”

“I think that we’d both be happier if we ended things now. I don’t see a future in this relationship. I’m sorry. ” “I think it would be best if we saw other people. We aren’t suited for each other. ”

“We’ve had a lot of great moments together, and I’ve loved exploring the world with you. ” “You helped me get through so many tough moments. You really were my rock. ”

If you can tell that your ex is starting to shut down, give them an out by saying something like, “Do you need some time to process this?” or, “Is there anything you’d like to say to me?”

If they do try to say that they’ll change, you can say something like, “That’s very nice of you to say, but I’ve heard you say that before. I’m sorry, but I’m not willing to wait for you to change anymore. ”

Many people with dismissive avoidant attachment styles have trouble maintaining lasting relationships. You might see your ex move onto flings or one night stands fairly quickly after your breakup.

Dismissive avoidant people are also less likely to reach out to their friends. If you can tell your ex’s friends what they’re going through, they’ll be much more able to help them out.

Make sure you practice self care by making time to do one nice thing for yourself every day.