Expecting your partner to be able to read your mind and know when you’re upset is an example of an unrealistic expectation. It’s not possible for them to know what’s wrong unless you communicate with them![4] X Expert Source Kate DreyfusHolistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer Expert Interview. 22 November 2021. Expecting your partner to never forget things or make mistakes is another example of an unrealistic expectation. Nobody is perfect, so your partner is doomed to fail.
You could say, “I know you need some time to yourself right now, but I’m here whenever you want to talk. ”
If your partner only completes a few of the chores you ask them to do, instead of asking, “Why didn’t you do everything I asked you to do?” say something like, “Thank you for getting as much done as you can. " You can still mention when your partner’s actions make you feel upset, but it shouldn’t be the main way you communicate. Use a kind, empathetic tone and talk about how you feel rather than attacking or blaming your partner.
Give your partner praise and let them know how proud you are once they reach an accomplishment.
You might say, “I’ve noticed that you’ve been a little closed off recently. Is everything okay? I’m here to talk if something is bothering you. ”
You could say something like, “I feel confused when you’re distant because I don’t know what I can do to make it better. I’d appreciate it if you could tell me how to help you when this comes up. ” You might also say, “When you act distant around me, I feel like I said or did something wrong and it makes me worried that I’ve made you upset. I need you to communicate how you’re feeling in those moments just so I can have some clarity. ”
You could ask, “Is there something that I can do to help out, or do you just need some time to yourself?”
Maybe you got upset at your partner for wanting to spend the night with their friends. While it’s normal to want to spend time with your partner, lashing out at them for wanting space can drive them away.
