He may even be the perfect guy, but if his ex is showing up all the time and causing chaos or trying to pick fights with you, it may not be worth it to you. If his ex isn’t around anymore or they’re on super good terms and she’s mature, this may not be a particularly big deal.
On the other hand, if you really are just looking for a quick fling, he may be up for that. Some single dads don’t feel like they have the time for a full-time relationship. If that kind of arrangement is okay with you, go for it! Alternatively, this can be a good thing depending on what your goals are. If you’re looking for Mr. Right and he’s trying to find a life partner, it could be a good thing that he’s looking for something serious.
If he does make you his number one priority, it could mean he isn’t really a good dad and that may be a red flag. If you’re super secure in who you are and you don’t necessarily need the guys you date to obsess and fawn over you, this may not be a problem. In fact, some people like dating guys with kids because it means they get more alone time!
Don’t feel bad about wanting to be left alone. If you’re dating a guy with kids and you’re tired of the kids getting in the way, it’s totally normal to be annoyed. If you’re the kind of person who values their alone time, or you’re really good at going with the flow, this may not be a barrier at all.
If you’re not quite ready to give up on the late-night bar hopping fun with your friends, you may have a hard time adjusting to a guy with kids. At the same time, if you want a mature, level-headed guy who knows how to handle responsibilities, a man with children may be absolutely perfect for you. Some guys with kids will take every opportunity they have to do something interesting in their spare time. If you’re still yearning for adventure and he’s one of those guys who can’t wait for the babysitter to show up so the two of you can go have fun, it may not be a big deal!
In his kid’s eyes, your mere presence may be a sign that mommy and daddy aren’t getting back together. If you do end up dating a guy with kids and their behavior becomes a problem, try not to hold it against them. They’re probably going through a lot.
It’s totally normal to be jealous when you’re in a relationship, so if you’ve ever dated a guy with kids and you felt this way, don’t be too hard on yourself. You’d be surprised how common this is. If you don’t have a tendency to get jealous, this is probably a non-issue for you.
Even if you don’t end up breaking up, the overarching feeling that it could happen can make things difficult.
Some guys take on a more mature aura when they become dads. If you’re still trying to hold on to some of your youthful, late-night, party-time energy, it could make things extremely difficult for the two of you to build something together.
On top of his ex always coming up, you won’t be his “first” in anything. If you and him have children, he’s already experienced that miracle. If he was married before, you won’t be his first spouse. For some people, this can be really difficult.
If you’re the kind of person who finds a lot of value in helping people heal or being vulnerable with your feelings, this may not be a huge deal for you.
