As you’re trying to catch her eye, notice whether she’s paying extra attention to any one person she’s with. That could be a sign she’s into them, so she might not be as receptive to chatting with someone new. If she smiles back when she sees you, that’s a great sign that you should head over and say hi![2] X Expert Source David Kornel ZDating Coach Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.
You could also say something like, “It seems like this is the fun crowd to hang out with, so I just had to come and say hi! I’m Jessica!” That doesn’t mean you have to speak to each person individually, especially if it’s a large crowd—but do at least smile and give a general hello to the whole group.
Respect her personal space, though. Lean your head toward her ear, but keep your body off of hers, and don’t touch her at all unless she seems comfortable talking to you. If she leans in toward you when you’re talking, or if she puts her hand on your arm while you’re talking, it’s a good sign she’s interested in you!
Try something like, “The crowd here is awesome tonight. Do you come here often?” You could also say, “This is my favorite song! Do you want to dance?” You could also get a feel for the whole group by asking a question like, “How do you guys know each other?” Just avoid saying anything negative—you won’t make a good impression if you open with something like, “This beer is awful” or, “The music is way too loud. "
It’s okay to say she’s pretty, but it’s better if you can think of something that goes a little deeper, like, “You have amazing style!” or “You seem like a really chill person!” And stay away from comments about her body—that could make her feel uncomfortable.
If accepts your offer to buy her a drink, walk with her to the bar and either pay for her drink or put it on your tab. Don’t insist on bringing the drink to her—it might seem chivalrous, but most women prefer to get their drink directly from a bartender.
This can be a subtle way to find out if she’s single. For instance, if you ask about her weekend plans, she might say, “I’m hanging out with my boyfriend all day Saturday. " On the other hand, if she says, “I don’t have any plans yet,” she might be open to hanging out.
Try to think up meaningful questions that show you’re really interested in what she’s saying. [12] X Expert Source Maria AvgitidisDating Coach Expert Interview. 20 December 2019. For instance, if she mentions she’s from another town, you might say something like, “What was your favorite part about growing up there?” Don’t just jump from question to question—that might feel like you’re interrogating her. Instead, when you ask a question, let her answer, then share a little about yourself before going back to what she said.
For instance, if she says she’s in business school, you might bring it back up later by saying, “So, what do you want to do when you get your MBA?”
If the conversation fizzles out, no big deal! It’s always good to get out and be social, and you might not hit it off with everyone you talk to. Keep trying—you’ll get more comfortable and confident with more practice!
