Going no contact doesn’t mean you’ll never reconnect. If you want to be friends with this person down the line, it’s still possible after taking some time on your own. In fact, waiting until you’re ready may make being friends a lot easier. You may also realize that you like not having this person in your life. Know that it’s totally okay to forgive someone without the intention of reconnecting or even telling them!

It may seem easier to suppress how you feel at first, but those feelings will come back to you eventually. To release your hurt and anger, you’ve got to fully experience it.

This letter is more for you than for the person that broke your heart. It’s not a good idea to lash out and send an angry letter. That may end up making you feel worse, and it won’t help you forgive them.

Challenge yourself by trying things you never thought you could do. Take up skateboarding, go on a solo road trip, or even order something new off the menu at a restaurant. As you build up your confidence, you may start to see the good things that came out of your experience with heartbreak. [8] X Research source

Maybe you started playing guitar every day and are now a virtuoso. You may have also learned a lot about yourself, like what you’re looking for in a relationship and how to trust your instincts. Come back to your list anytime you’re feeling especially down. It can really help bring you back to reality, especially if you find yourself missing your ex or stuck in an angry spiral.

This can also help you avoid blaming yourself for their actions.

Avoid talking about your feelings with mutual friends of the person that broke your heart. You don’t want what you say to get back to your ex, and it could make them feel caught in the middle of things. [14] X Research source

It’s completely normal to seek some professional help after experiencing heartbreak. If you’re struggling, it can be a great resource to move through the pain and start feeling good again!

Forgiveness is more about helping you heal, not getting an apology from the other person, making the other person change, or reconciling. [17] X Research source It’s also possible that you aren’t able to forgive this person. If someone mistreated you or hasn’t acknowledged the pain that they caused, it may not be healthy to forgive them. Do what feels right for you and focus on yourself. [18] X Research source