This is an old joke, of course, but it’s especially silly right now. Are there really people who would even let their own funeral keep them from seeing “The Producers”? Mel Brooks’s nutsy Nazi musical sold $1.3 million in tickets in one day last week, that being the day after the show walked off with a record 12 Tony Awards. All told, “The Producers” has sold more than $33 million in tickets, with a new batch of seats now available to the end of 2002. The street, as theater people call Broadway, is filled with tales about the crazy things fans have done to get in. Sob stories about dying uncles. Policemen hitting up Matthew Broderick for tickets. “I think the one about the woman offering the box-office guy a sexual favor is actually true,” say John Barlow, the show’s publicist. Before you do something you’ll regret in the morning, we’re here to tell you: you can get tickets to “The Producers.” You just have to use a little Bialystock and Bloom ingenuity.
The easiest, and cheapest, way to get a ticket is to show up at the St. James Theatre by 10 a.m. That’s when the line starts to form for cancellations. On a typical day, the theater receives at least a couple of seats from people who evidently did have to go to a funeral. In addition, the St. James features 18 standing-room spots (top price: $31), if your feet can stand it. At 6 p.m., all those tickets are sold to the people who arrived earliest in the cancellation line. There are also countless, shall we say, informal transactions in front of the theater. Perhaps because it is now illegal to scalp tickets in New York, many people have bought seats there at face value. Liz Smith wrote in her gossip column last week that two friends from San Francisco found someone selling tickets for $100 each–an unbelievable bargain. The going rate on eBay and at the ticket brokers is more than $500 per orchestra seat. Smith still can’t believe her friends’ luck. “The morning the show opened I asked if I could buy four matinee tickets for any time in the near future. I never heard another word,” she says. “I guess I’ll just have to buy tickets on the street, too.”
Maybe Liz is slipping. The truth is, it helps to be connected. If you have a relative, friend, neighbor, babysitter or dog walker who knows someone involved in the show, call him or her. The actors, producers, theater managers and other “Producers” insiders control 260 tickets to every performance. “I’ve never had so many friends in my life,” says Sarah Jessica Parker, the “Sex and the City” star who is also Broderick’s wife. (No wonder she introduced herself at the Tonys as “Mrs. Leo Bloom.”) It may also help to peek at Broderick’s Palm pilot. Because some persnickety people storm out of a show when its stars don’t show up, you stand a better chance of snagging returned tickets on days when Broderick or his Tony-winning costar, Nathan Lane, will be out. Fans are already speculating about when Broderick will take a six-week leave to make a TV movie of “The Music Man.” (Not before January, ABC says.) And Lane has already missed several performances due to vocal problems. Both stars are scheduled to leave the show on March 18.
Even staying at the right New York hotel can increase your odds of getting in. At the posh Four Seasons, the concierge says the hotel will only direct “Producers”-hungry guests to Telecharge. But over at the equally highbrow Trump International Hotel, the concierge says he’s often able to hook up guests with tickets. “Sometimes we can, sometimes we can’t. We have several excellent ticket brokers we work with,” he says. The Trump concierge won’t reveal his sources. He wouldn’t even give his name. Smart guy.
