“My child thinks he’s not allowed to go out and see his friends because he thinks he’s being punished,” trauma doctor Amit Patel tells us.
Dr. Patel is just one of the thousands of parents across the country who are concerned, after a nationwide lockdown came into effect on March 23, as the U.K. battled to contain the spread of the virus in a country where the death toll is the second largest in the world.
“I’ve definitely seen a change, he’s unusually quiet,” says Dr. Patel of his three-year-old son Abhi, who he describes as someone who usually “loves social interaction and being very social”.
Even before the lockdown, the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) says it began to receive calls from worried children about COVID-19.
The charity says that it has delivered nearly 7,000 counseling sessions to children and young people who have got in touch and mentioned COVID-19 through its childline service up to May 10.
“I think it was really hard for him to understand why he was not going to nursery, at the beginning he thought he was naughty, and it was a punishment, that he wasn’t allowed to go to nursery”, Dr. Patel says.
“He would look at the window in the morning and see kids of parents who work in healthcare, fireman, police officers, quite a few live on our road, and he’d see them walking to school or being taken to nursery and he’d ask well, they’re going to nursery, why can’t I?”
Amit says Abhi is someone who enjoys having a routine and has found it difficult adjusting now that the structure provided by his nursery is no longer there.
He said: “We noticed within the first three weeks of lockdown, he started wetting himself, which he’s never done before, and he would never tell us why.
“One evening, I sat him down upstairs and asked why, I said you need to tell daddy when you need to go toilet and he said daddy, I’m missing my friends, I’m missing my playtime, I’m missing my grandma, uncle, auntie.
“He said “I’m sad, I don’t like it” and that’s when it broke my heart.”
Amit says he has tried to explain to his son that it’s not safe to go outside, that people are getting ill, but he asks, “how much can you tell a three-year-old?”.
He says it’s clear the lockdown has affected Abhi’s behavior.
“He’s unusually quiet, he takes himself off with a book, which he doesn’t normally do, he’ll sit on his own.”
“It’s definitely had an impact on his mental health.”
Dr. Patel said that while many parents are making use of technologies like FaceTime so that their children can see each other, he has seen how his own children become very quiet when in front of the camera and don’t know what to say.
Yesterday would’ve marked an annual street party event for the family but instead, Dr. Patel says his neighbors decided to come out onto their driveways and people took it in turns to walk up and down the street so they could say hello to one another, when Abhi got to see some of his friends.
“I think he had the best night’s sleep yesterday,” Dr. Patel said.
“He went to bed at 7 o’clock, he didn’t wake up till 7 o’clock, he woke up with big smile on his face, we do see the difference when he interacts with his friends.
“I still think he thinks he’s being naughty for whatever reason and that this is his punishment.”
Fellow parent and music writer Rob Chapman says he too has noticed a change in his nine-year-old daughter’s behavior.
Alice is in primary school and Rob says he initially interpreted her disruptive behavior as being a “discipline problem” but then realized there was something more to it.
Yesterday, he says, was a flashpoint, where Alice began crying and said “I just want all this to stop”, he told Newsweek.
“I didn’t know what this was and I asked her and she said coronavirus,” he said.
Rob says the lack of a structure and school environment is clearly impacting his daughter’s mental health.
“What she’s completely lacking is that structural school environment and I think that’s really underestimated in kids of that age,” he said.
“I can’t imagine when I was her age what it would have been like to be taken out of school in February and be off for like four months, and I think that really begins to show in the end.”
Rob says his family will work together to support Alice through such a challenging time but criticized the government for not doing more to support children, while other sectors of the economy, like workplaces begin open up.
He said: “We keep using the phrase new normal, but there’s nothing normal about it at all, it’s a new abnormal, I feel strongly about that, I hate that phrase, there’s nothing normal about this at all.”
Rob also said he didn’t even know who the education secretary was, accusing Gavin Williamson of keeping a low profile.
He said: “She’s (Alice) been deprived of things like music lessons, to deprive kids of that age of all social activity I think is very worrying and it appalls me that the government appears to have no real policy on this at all.”
Dame Esther Rantzen, Founder of Childline, said it was clear the mental health of children had been affected by the pandemic.
She said: “Children and families have faced extraordinary challenges because of the coronavirus pandemic and the next few months will be no different.
“Childline provides a vital lifeline to young people who are trying to cope with the fear, anxiety and distress caused by the pandemic. We know from the counseling sessions we have delivered that children’s mental health has been directly impacted and those children who are living in homes which are not safe, where there is violence, addiction or abuse are finding it especially difficult during lockdown.
“Young people in times of stress often find that their friends and the security of school are crucial to their mental wellbeing, but now they are without them, and are isolated and alone.
“It is imperative that we are there, particularly for those whose usual support networks are not in place and have nowhere else to turn. We are urging the public to support our Still Here for Children appeal so we can continue to support our young people whose lives have changed overnight.”
The charity YoungMinds, which campaigns on issues relating to young people’s mental health said the crisis had put “added pressure on many young people”.
Tom Madders, Director of Campaigns at YoungMinds comments: “We know that many children and young people have struggled to adjust to the changes over the last few months because of the pandemic.
“Whether that’s because they miss friends, are struggling to manage without the structure of school, or have lost their coping mechanisms or professional support, the crisis has put added pressure on many young people.
“The Government is rightly focused on tackling the coronavirus pandemic we’re currently facing, but we know that more young people have been struggling with their mental health during lockdown, and that – despite huge efforts by mental health professionals – some are finding it difficult to access services.
“We also know that what happens now will have a lasting impact on young people’s mental health, for years to come. To tackle the anticipated rise in mental health needs of young people, the government must take action and commit to introducing additional support now and as we emerge from the pandemic.”
The U.K. government has been approached by Newsweek for comment.
